It's been a while...

      Margie and I have been doing really well. We have been busy with multiple things lately so I've skipped writing. Things are the pretty much the same as always. Some days are good and some are neutral and some are terrible. I will share the best days. 
      One of the two best days since my last writing was when she and I and her daughter and some friends went out to eat. Margie really loved that. And she really loved the fact that I shared my birthday cookie and ice cream with her. But she is always happy when she has ice cream and sweets.
      Another wonderful day was when she got to see her grandson in a play! There were some bad moments for her during the play because she didn't know where she was or why it was dark but we got through it. After the play when she got to see her grandson dressed up in his costume she smiled happily. Actually that is an understatement. She was beyond happy. The smile on her face was one of the best moments ever for me. She glowed. 
      There was a downside to the play though. Due to the high activity and interaction and simulation the days following the play were very difficult. During the moment it was fantastic but it caught up to her and she was exhausted for several days and rather grumpy. And that took a toll on me. We got through it though. We always do. 
       Now we are moving on to an new adventure! We are moving! Moving is going to be a huge shock to her and disrupt her schedule extremely. I already know this but moving is a necessity since Margie's bathroom is too small to fit the Hoyer lift. There have been times that I have needed it but had to figure out something else because the bathroom is just to small. So our solution is to move. 
      I probably won't have time to update my blog until after the move. And it might be longer than that because I will have to get Margie settled in and comfortable. Plus I have to clean and unpack and do all those fun things a person does when he or she moves. This is going to be a new hurdle to overcome. I will let everyone know how it goes! 

Yesterday Morning VS This Morning!

      Yesterday

      Yesterday did not start out well at all. I got Margie into the bathroom and started morning cares. Getting her PJ's and under shirt off was easy, but when I started to help her get her day clothes on she started to fight against me. I asked her to lift her arms up and she did so I flipped her shirt over her head. As I was straightening her shirt out she punched me in the eye. I stood up straight and asked her why she would do something like that when I'm just helping her. Her reply was that she did it because I told her to lift her hands up. Then she started to mumble that I deserved it and that it's all my fault. I bit my tongue and continued morning cares.
      Then I moved on to the rest of the morning cares. I got her bottoms off and got her pull ups on and when I starting to get her legs into her pants she kicked me in the face. I didn't say anything and just got her bottoms on. Then it was teeth brushing time. She didn't like that I made her brush her teeth so instead of spitting in the cup she spit on me. Then I put some body mist on her to give her a fresh clean sent and freaked out and started to yell. I told her it was perfume to make her smell beautiful. Her reply was that I needed it more. I cleaned her bottom and got her into her wheel chair. 
      Finally we were out of the bathroom and done with the morning cares. I thought that would make her perk up and a bit nicer. Well it didn't do anything. When I was washing my hands she scratched herself and blamed me. And then because I told her I was in the bathroom and couldn't have done it she started to ask an invisible man to shoot me for lying. Her mood was making me exhausted.
      I moved her out to the dining room and got her some apple juice and a banana to start with. I got yelled because she didn't think I was saying banana right. And every time I said banana she would tell me to shut up. I tried to feed her and asked her to take a bite of her banana and she made a face and shut her mouth tight and pushed the fork away. "You poisoned it! I'm not going to eat it," she yelled at me. I sat the fork down and she grabbed it and tried to stab me with it. Thankfully my reflexes are much faster than before and I got the fork away from her and moved it away from her.
     I stepped into the kitchen for a moment to take a drink of water and take a deep breath before I returned to the table. I got her to eat her banana even though she wasn't happy about it and kept yelling at me and glaring at me. After that I put her in front of the TV and turned on The Sound of Music and walked away and sat down in the kitchen and had a cup of tea to calm down. 

Today

      Today was the complete opposite of yesterday. Margie woke up happy and excited and sat up easily and walked from her bed to the bathroom! She was excited for bacon for brunch the beautiful day. I got her ready with perfect ease and then we moved into the kitchen. 

      Margie certainly did enjoy her bacon. She had 3 thick slices and a yogurt and a banana. Plus she had four glasses of apple juice and about a cup of Goldfish crackers! She was on a roll. Also, she didn't complain about taking pills! When she is in a good mood I am in a good mood! We watched a bit of Cinderella before exhaustion hit her and I tucked her into bed for a little nap. 

      

     

-It's amazing how much each day differs. Yesterday was a struggle and today, even though she is very tired, she is in a good mood and involved when I talk to her. I never know what day I'm going to get when I walk into her bedroom. I'm just glad that today is starting out well.  -Danielle 

Saint Patrick's Day

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

      Today wasn't the happiest day for Margie. She woke up panicking and yelling for help. I rushed into her room and once she saw me she calmed down a little bit. I asked her what was wrong and she kept saying that everyone left her and wouldn't help her get out of the fire. I sat down next to her and held her hand and stroked her hair until she calmed down. It didn't work at first but I kept changing the subject. I was telling her about the birds on the patio and that made her want to see them. So I got her up and ready and she seemed all better during morning cares. 

      However, that didn't last. When I got her out to the kitchen she start signing and resting her head on her hand. She got up earlier so I knew she would be more tired than normal but she wouldn't eat or drink. I struggled to get a yogurt into her. She needed some sleep so I put her in her recliner to get a little shut eye before her daughter came over. 

      Margie's daughter got here and Margie stayed asleep for a little bit until we got her out of the chair. She perked up a little bit and then Margie and her daughter went down to the indoor pool. When they were done Margie's daughter put her into bed for a rest and left. 

      The rest didn't go well. After sleeping maybe fifteen minutes she woke up and started chatting away to the people and things she saw in her mind. I let her talk it out for about 30 minutes before I got her up. 

      After I got Margie up she seemed okay. She was talking very goofy and I had no idea what she was talking about but I acted like I did and she giggled and smiled. But after a few minutes, even with me talking to keep her involved she started to sigh and close her eyes. Her daughter Pat called and it helped a little bit but Margie kept talking more to me than Pat. But at least she was a bit more involved. 

      Margie and I enjoyed a nice supper after Pat called. She ate very well and had good portion so that made me happy and relieved. But she still wasn't drinking any liquids even when I asked her and tried to help her. That is when she started to get cranky and told me to get my hands away and leave her alone. That's when I moved her into my room to watch Cinderella. 

      Cinderella kept her entertained and involved for about fifteen minutes and that is when she started asking if she was going to sit all night long. I skipped the movie to a song and turned it up because that usually makes her sing or hum along. That was not the answer either. She started complaining that she has heard that song a million times and she is sick of it. So I turned on a food show and she watched for a minute before saying, "I'm so sick of this. Can't I go to my room and go to bed?" 

      It was still too early for bed so I changed the channel. That didn't work so started asking her what she used to do during Saint Patrick's Day. She would not reply no matter what I did. She started saying she wants to go to her room again so I took her too her room and tucked her into bed after night cares. She was asleep before I finished my night routine of prayers, talking about the day, and having her repeat after me. 

-Today was a pretty basic and normal day. Days like this happen a lot. I don't have anything to comment about today because I'm so used to days like this now. I guess all I can say is that when Margie asks to go to bed earlier I agree as long as it's not too early. When I listen to what she wants, whether getting up in the morning or going to bed earlier or whatever else she asks, it makes the day or next day go a bit smoother. This way she gets some control over what she wants and doesn't want to do and it makes her feel better. Thanks for listening and reading.     -Danielle 

The Past Month

      For the last month, from my last post to now, the days have mirrored each other for the most part. Some days have been a bit better and some a bit worse, but mainly they remained neutral. There was one horrible day a few of days ago that I will talk about. 
      The bad day stretched my patience thin and wore me out. I always start waking Margie up by opening the blinds and letting the sunlight shine on her and let her rouse a bit. Then after fifteen to twenty minutes I turn on some music she likes to finish waking her up and to put her in a good mood.
      Those things did not work. After letting her listen to music for a while I tried to get her up but she fought against me and clung to the side of her bed and kicked at me so I could not move her into a sitting position. I stepped away and let her wake up a bit more. I waited about twenty minutes and tried again. The same thing happened. 
      On days like this one I would usually change her in bed and pivot her to her chair. But I could smell that there was a big of mess in her pull up, and it would have been too difficult to change her in bed that way without the mess getting all over everything. So I decided to lift her into a sitting position and pivot her into her wheel chair and then moved her into the bathroom so I could get her cleaned properly in there. 
      That did not work. For over two hours I struggled to get Margie up. She did not want to cooperate. She spit at me when I talk to her and asking her to stand, she bit me when I tried to get her up by hugging her and getting her on to her feet, she called me every name in the book, she hit me, and yelled and everything you could possibly think of. 
      To try and put her in better mood and to change what her brain was thinking I did different things. These are some of the things I did: hummed, played music, gave her food, took her out to the living room and walked up and down the space, opened the patio door to give her fresh air and let her watch the birds. I also clapped and danced and told her company was coming over and we had to get ready to go out. Company was coming over, her daughter, but we weren't going out. But even with all the things I tried she still would not get up and pivot for me. 
      I was getting wore out and my patience was just running thin and I was so frustrated I was crying because I did not know what to do. But I did not let Margie see any of those things. I stepped away a few times and take a deep breath and get some fresh air and gather myself and I would try again and fail again and then step away to cool down yet again.
      Finally, Margie's daughter got there and she helped me. It was still difficult, but Margie's daughter held her up so I could get her bottoms down and onto the toilet. Then I stepped outside and sat down in my lawn chair and let her get Margie ready for the day so I could unwind. And then I went out with my mom for some time away. 
      After I got back from my break Margie was a-okay. She had a good time with her daughter and "the channel" in her brain changed. Even when Margie's daughter left she was in a good mood. We watched TV and talked and enjoyed the rest of the day. So it wasn't a bad day, just a very bad moment that seemed to drag on for so long. 


~I have to ask.. when you are in a situation like this what do you do? Or what would you do? At moments like this I could use some help so if you have any ideas or pointers you could give me I would be very grateful. Thanks! -Danielle 

Long day-Great night

     Today was a long day. Margie did not want to get up this morning, and grogginess persisted throughout the day. And since she was tired that made her cranky on and off through the day. 
     When I finally got her up and into the bathroom she didn't like me cleaning up her bottom so she kept pulling on my hair to get me away from her. It worked because I took a step back and asked her what she wanted to eat and what she wanted to do today until she perked up a little bit. Then she didn't mind getting refreshed for the day.
      At breakfast Margie kept sighing and pushing her food away. I finally got her to eat all of her coleslaw and a yogurt and some mixed fruit and nuts. After she ate and had her pills she kept closing her eyes and resting her head on her hand. I got out the colors and she did a little coloring before the sighing and eye resting came back. After that I put on a movie and did some cleaning around her until 2:30 P.M. came around and I put her down for a nap. 
     After her nap she was slightly more alert but she kept saying, "You need to help those ladies." And, "Why won't you give them their food back?" And a few other things like that, but at least she did eat her salad and fruit really well. That is a good sign when she eats well and by herself. 
     So, after supper I turned on Cinderella and she enjoyed that very much. We watched the movie for a while, but I could see that Margie was getting sleepy. It wasn't even 7:30 P.M. so it was a bit to early to go to bed. I did decided to get her PJ's on though. After that we finished the movie  
     At a few minutes after eight I could see that Margie was ready to fall asleep. So I gave her all the pills she needs to take and put her in bed and tucked her in. Then I proceeded to say prayers with her and talk about the day we had. It's routine. And I always make Margie say, "I will sleep all night long."
     I got ready to have her say that by saying, "Margie, sweetie?" And she replied, "Yes Danielle?" She said my name! I choked up for a second before I continued saying, "I need to to repeat after me, Margie. Say, 'I will sleep all night long.'" And she repeated what I said a couple of times. I told her I love her and to sleep tight and she was sound asleep. 
     When I shut her bedroom door I stood there for a moment. Honestly, I got tears in my eyes. Margie remembered me and she knew my name! She has said my name a few times but not very often. This time really hit me. Margie can barely remember her own name but she remembered mine in that moment. It is a wonderful and fantastic feeling. I texted Margie's daughters and told them that she made my week. And she did. This is another great memory.  
     
     
     

Too cute!

I just turned on some music for Margie because she said she didn't want to get up! She started wiggling her feet to the sound of the music and I asked her if she is dancing in bed. She said yes and the she started wiggling her butt and legs in a semi dance way. She is just way to cute! 

The Last Week....

     I must say that this last week has been beyond fantastic. There were some bad days but five good days out of seven is fantastic. And the absolute best part about this week is that Margie had her 91st birthday! 
    The start of this week is when the bad days happened. I was struggling to get Margie to stand up when I would take her to the bathroom. Also, she kept saying mean things to me. But we got through those bad days and that's when the good five days started. 
    For five days, minus a few hours, Margie was in the best mood. This last week has filled me with energy and made me feel great. When Margie is happy and full of energy her mood passes on to me. Days like these are what make this job. 
    There are more bad days then good days lately. That's why I'm never going to forget these good days. Days like this are what keep me going. When the day is bad and seems like it is never going to end I think back on all these good days. I love Margie and I'm glad I get to spend everyday with her.
    Tonight makes these last few days even better. Margie and some of her friends and family came to celebrate her birthday! She had so much fun tonight. The best part of the night is when she stuck her finger into her cake and licked it off. 
    After all the fun I brought Margie back to our apartment and gave her all of her pills. We were talking about her birthday party. She told me to tell everyone that she had a wonderful time and thank you. It was a fantastic week and night. 

 Miss Margie

91st Birthday Party!