A Difficult Night...

01/08/2014

   Yesterday and yesterday evening was pretty good with only a few bumps in the road, but last night was very difficult. Last night Margie and I were watching a Walt Disney movie and everything was going really well.  
   Well, near the end of our movie I noticed that she was closing here eyes a lot and yawning. At that time it was only about 7 in the evening. So I decided that I would get her pajamas on and we would finish the movie and have some ice cream and just relax. 
   However, that didn't work at all. I brought Margie into her bedroom and stopped by her bathroom door. Usually she can walk from the doorway into the bathroom with my help. But last night that didn't work. So I pushed her wheel chair into the bathroom and tried to get her to stand and hold on to her bar. That did not work out either. I tried a few more things and they also failed. 
   That is when things got bad. Margie went from being sleepy and not wanting to cooperate to being extremely mad. She kept yelling at me to leave her alone and that she didn't want any help. She was screaming at the top of her lungs and telling me not to touch her and get away from her and that she hates me.
   I kept trying to calm her down but nothing was working. I asked her to stop being mean to me because it hurt my feelings and made me sad. I told her that I was just trying to help her. That only made her madder. I tried holding her hand and stroking her arm and rubbing her back because that sometimes helps. But not last night. 
   The only thing that touch did to her last night is make her more angry and mad. Margie kept fighting me and kicking me in the shin and shoving me and punching me in the stomach. During the fighting process she got her finger into the tiny hole in my shirt and turned it into a seven inch hole in my shirt.  
   That's when I gave up and left the room and called her daughter Lisa. I told Lisa that I needed some help. She asked me if she wanted me to talk to Margie on the phone and get her to calm down. I knew that would not be enough so I asked her to come over and help me. She told me she was on her way. 
   While I waited for Lisa to get here I got Margie's pills and tried to give them to her. The two most important pills, her sleeping pills, I got into her thankfully. The other ones were spit out or chewed. But at least some of them were in her even though that process made her more upset with me. 
   At that time Lisa showed up. Margie cheered up a little bit when she showed up. We took her out of the bathroom and let her calm down a bit and Lisa talked with her. 
   After a while Lisa and I tried again to get Margie's pajamas on and to use the restroom. The anger and shouting and yelling started all over again. It took both of us to get her up. Lisa had to hold her while I positioned her to sit down on her toilet chair. It was a work out. At least getting her off of the toilet wasn't as big of an ordeal. It was still difficult but at least she stood up partially with her own power. 
   So she was all ready for bed and we had her sit back in her wheel chair and moved her to the side of her bed. I thought things would work out pretty well since she got up fairly well in the bathroom. But that was just wishful thinking. I tried to get Margie to give me a hug so I could use my strength to get her out of her wheel chair and into bed. Well, she started squeezing my neck with her arms so that failed. Honestly, I can't remember how Lisa and I got her into bed but we did it. 
   After Margie was tucked into bed I left the room and let Lisa pray with Margie and talk her to sleep. Usually I do that but last night burned me out and I had to step away and sit down and take a deep breath. I don't let these situations stress me out. Well, I guess I should say I try not to let them stress me out. After all this was over I was okay but during the process I was a bit stressed.
   Usually when Margie is being difficult I can handle it but last night was a different level that I had not seen for a long time. I've developed methods to get her up when she doesn't want to but none of those methods were working. She held her weight down and I could not budge her at all. 
   Thankfully though Lisa lives close by and could come and help me. It would have been a very long and tiresome night if she had not come and helped me. Thanks to the her we could get Margie snuggled into bed and have a peaceful night of rest.


-If you are taking care of someone that suffers from dementia days like this will occur. All I can say is try to keep a calm face in front of him or her. You can stress inside but don't show it on the outside until you are away. It makes things more scary for your loved one. I know that it is hard when he or she is being a handful. It took me a while to hide my emotions when things were so overwhelming I was ready to burst. I'm not saying I never slip now and then but try as hard as you can. It will eventually make things easier for you as well as for him or her.