Today's Start

01/09/2014     

     Today has barely started and it is already turning out to be a very, very difficult day. This morning when I woke Margie I was excited to see that last night did not drag into today. She was happy and seemed full of energy and joy for the bright and beautiful day. 

     That, however, did not last. For lunch I made us each a salad. Margie loves salad and was excited to eat. After the third or forth bite things started to change. She started to make faces at me and the food and her water. And then she started picking on the the coloring books I had on the floor next to my chair. 
     It did not stop there. She started having trouble eating so I tried helping her. She did not like that at all. At first she just kept telling me that it was going to fall and I was going to make a huge mess. I just let that go in one ear and out the other. I kept trying to help her because she couldn't find her fork and she kept sticking her fingers into her salad. I moved her fork towards her and she shoved my hand away and glared at me. 
     "Margie I'm just trying to help you. Please let me help you," I told her while trying to guide her had to the fork. That was a big mistake. 
     She ripped her hand away and threw stick salad at me. I bit my tongue and stepped away and let her try and figure it out herself. Well, she didn't eat anymore and continued to throw salad everywhere. That was my cue to take away her bowl and clean her up. 
     I got a clean dish rag and wet it with warm water since she hates anything cold touching her. She kept fighting against me as I wiped all the salad dressing and lettuce off of her fingers. She then told me to stop ruining the pictures. I just ignored it all and continued cleaning her up. 
     When I started to pick lettuce off of her clothes she yelled at me, "If you don't stop I'll make that man hit you in the head with that water bottle." 
     "Margie there is no man here so he won't hit me in the head with the water bottle," I replied to her in a monotone voice. 
     That's when I started to wipe off the table in front of her. I didn't see her, but she grabbed my water bottle and hit me in the neck. Then cap flipped open and my tea slipped all over me. Thankfully it was almost gone.
     After that I immediately took her too her bedroom and helped her into bed. That in itself was another fight since she didn't want me to touch her. But I got her into bed and helped her lay down and covered her up and walked out of the room.
     This morning I was so excited when she seemed excited. But with dementia that is how fast things change. One moment is fun and bright and then the next is the polar opposite. 
     I put Margie in bed because usually after she sleeps things reset and a new book starts. She is sleeping now and I'm crossing my fingers and praying that when I get her up in an hour she is happy and stays that way. If not then I will just have to grin and bear it.